Showing posts with label happiness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label happiness. Show all posts

Saturday, March 12, 2011

Things That Make Me Smile

Copying from my friend's Julie's blog, I thought I'd share a list of things that have made me smile lately.

~Watching "Mary Poppins" with the boys this afternoon and watching Elijah's reactions since this was his first time.


~Caleb's toothy grin and wobbly walk and especially the happy noises he makes when I sit down in our "nursing spot."
~The transformation of our bedroom - this has been an ongoing process. It's one of only two rooms I didn't paint last fall because I wanted to get a new duvet cover first. Well the new duvet cover's been on for awhile, I think I have a paint color picked out (2 actually, as one wall will be an accent color), and we have NEW bedroom furniture arriving in a couple of weeks. This was a long process. What originally was going to be a head board and maybe a dresser is going to be a complete bed, dresser, mirror and nightstand! Can't wait for it to be delivered and set up. Then once the weather is warm enough to have windows open, painting can begin. When the project is done, I will share more before and after photos.

~Fresh haircuts for all the boys - which means I don't have to cut them for another 6 weeks or so.
~Caleb's repetitive "uh-oh" whenever he drops something

~Ethan's sign in the downstairs bathroom - he set up a pet store in our downstairs bar area. He's had Elijah assisting him. Last night I went into the bathroom and when I turned on the light I saw the sign Ethan made. It reads, "All employees must wash their hands before returning to work. Thank you. Manager." It made me laugh out loud. Especially since reminding Elijah to wash his hands IS a good idea, except Elijah can't read.

~Caleb holding his hand up to his ear and saying "hi" every time he hears the phone ring. Also he says "ow" whenever he sees an animal - real, stuffed, or a photo.
~Elijah's burgeoning sense of humor.

~Paul's acceptance of my desire to redecorate our bedroom as long as there are no decorative pillows added to the bed (oh, the horror!). He switched the office's overhead light fixture with our bedroom one - a job that looked a lot easier (from my vantage point) than it actually was. My contribution to the task: getting the ladder out and setting it up in the office.
~Spring is in the air - it's still below freezing outside with lots of snow yet to melt, but our dirt road and driveway are mud pits which gives me hope....and annoys me all to no end.

~new washcloth colors!


~The thought of being able to hang cloth diapers on the clothes line again.

~The thought of Sara holding new baby Levi in just a few short days!

~Ethan winning 1st place for speed at the AWANA grand prix a couple weeks ago. He won every heat and got the track record as well.


~Finally owning Caleb free and clear!

~Working out and the result: my arms are starting to look like Jillian's - wish the rest of my body was showing more change. But I do feel different, have more energy, and am definitely noticing my muscles growing.

~Sunshine!

Friday, July 3, 2009

Please Pray for Baby #5

Yes, we are expecting another baby - we're hoping that this baby will join our family in January. I am 10 weeks and we were actually planning on waiting awhile longer to share this happy news, but unfortunately circumstances that have developed are creating the need for much prayer. This baby's story actually starts back in February.

Most of you know that I was pregnant back then with baby #4. I went to see my doctor at the beginning of Feb. where they took my blood and confirmed the pregnancy and so forth. Then on February 22, baby #4 (whom we named Jeremiah) went to Heaven to be with Felicity.

Shortly thereafter I received a weird letter in the mail from the University of Minnesota blood bank. It stated that my blood had tested positive for an antibody to red blood cells known as anti-c. The letter stated, "This does not indicate any problem with your personal health, but is important for future blood transfusions." It included a card that I needed to carry with me.

I didn't quite understand it all, but it didn't seem like I needed to do anything other than carry the card with me and let my doctor, Dr. M, know the next time I saw her. Dr. M actually called and left a message saying how sorry she was about my miscarriage and how she would be willing to talk with me at anytime. She never mentioned the antibody issue nor said that I should call her back. Since I was quite an emotional wreck at the time, I never returned that call.

Fast forward a couple of months to April when I received another letter from my doctor stating that she was going to be leaving my clinic in June to practice elsewhere. I felt this was confirmation that when I got pregnant again, I should go ahead and start going to a Christian, pro-life clinic where I could receive progesterone therapy if my levels were indeed low.

Then on May 24, we found out baby #5 was coming! We were thrilled and scared. Our main fears were (and are) another miscarriage or a repeat cord accident. I know I've shared before that repeat cord accidents are extremely rare, but I've since learned the opposite. In fact, there is a doctor in Louisiana who practices solely with parents of stillborn babies to prevent repeat cord accidents.

The next day I began going to the Christian, pro-life clinic for progesterone therapy as I found out that my levels were indeed low. I hadn't yet transferred my records to the new clinic as they didn't need to see me again for OB care until I was 12 weeks. Then on June 1, I got a voicemail from Dr. M saying that it was her last day at the clinic and she wanted to check in with me to make sure I was okay. Again, it was an emotional day and I just couldn't call her back. I figured I could write her a note letting her know I was okay at a later date. But then she called back two more times that day, finally stating in her message that she needed to talk to me THAT DAY about the antibody issue. So I called her back.

She told me that this antibody issue is serious in relation to pregnancy - that it can lead to anemia in the baby and that she had referred me to Maternal Fetal Medicine at the University of MN. She just never really said how serious so I kind of pushed it out of my mind after briefly talking with Paul about it. I mentioned it to my midwife who started doing her own research. She called us back, told us what she had found out, and told us that we really needed to follow up on this SOON!

Well, the drama didn't end there. During all this, Maternal Fetal Medicine had called my clinic back saying they didn't want to schedule an appointment with us until both Paul and I had blood work done at our own clinic. Unfortunately, because Dr. M had now left the clinic, both the referral and the order for blood work needed to be reordered by another doctor. So I had to go to the clinic and start all over.

So I saw the first doctor with an available appointment and of course, had to tell her the whole long complicated story. Dr. B was really nice and didn't get all weirded out by my homebirth experiences- she actually had some positive things to say about homebirths. She ordered an ultrasound for me that day as they were still waiting to hear back from Maternal Fetal Medicine about what blood tests to run. She figured it would be best to make sure this pregnancy was progressing normally (aka "viable") before doing all the blood work.

I was so nervous going into the ultrasound appointment. I had to go the hospital where we found out Felicity had indeed died and being there is always stressful for me. Not to mention the last ultrasound I had there confirmed that Jeremiah was gone. Thankfully Paul was able to meet me there. The baby looked great! Heartbeat was good and we could even see some little arm buds. What a relief! The due date corresponded well with my calculations.

Over the course of the next week we both had our blood work done and found out we both have this antibody. The most likely explanation to all this is that Felicity carried this antibody and when she died, her placenta must have partially separated before birth and our blood mixed.

So now we have an appointment with Maternal Fetal Medicine this coming Tuesday, July 7th. Oddly enough it's at the same hospital where seven years to the day I was laboring to deliver Ethan into the world. (His birthday is July 8th!) I've spent a lot of time talking with my midwife who has done a ton of research for us and also much time online researching myself. I don't understand much of the medical lingo but this is the synopsis.

This antibody can cause my body to see the baby's red blood cells as foreign and destroy them, thus causing anemia. This can lead to a condition called Hemolytic Disease of the Fetus or Newborn. It can range from moderate to severe. It can cause stillbirth, heart failure due to fluid collecting in baby's body, or severe jaundice. Treatment can be as involved as intrauterine blood transfusions during pregnancy or nothing may need to be done other than careful monitoring of baby's growth. There may also be a need for an early induction before fluid collects in baby's organs.

I am assuming that this pregnancy (and all pregnancies from here on out) will be closely monitored. I am hoping to find out a lot more at our appointment on Tuesday.

We DESPERATELY want this baby! I have given this little one back to God many times so far, but I'm praying that God's will is that this baby will join our family! Please pray for a healthy little one, peace during periods of waiting, and wisdom to make wise choices.


THANK YOU!

Saturday, May 16, 2009

A Sign

I don't believe in coincidences, fate, or luck. I believe in the providences of God. I believe that He is all-knowing, all-powerful, and present everywhere.
I believe He gave me this as a sign of His Goodness and His Faithfulness!

PINK blossoms on Felicity's apple tree!



Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Why Not Me

Surprisingly enough, with a title like, "Why Not Me," this post is not what you may think.

I remembered something from the MissingGRACE conference that I forgot to blog about and in fact, it's actually good enough for it's own post. The speaker I mentioned in my last post talked about how easy it is to think "Why Me?" when bad things happened in our lives. This is especially true when considering the death of your child. It's not like getting fired from a job or even getting divorced. Believe me, I know about the divorce thing! Losing a child is truly the most awful thing I can imagine happening in my life and I often contemplate "why me?"

Well, Judy challenged us to think of life differently. While we love and miss our babies, we in reality live lives that are the "why NOT me?" for many people. I am the "why not me?" for those who are hungry every day, because I rarely miss a meal. I am the "why not me?" for those who sleep outside in the winter, while I am warm and cozy in my home. I am the "why not me?" for the person who has never known what it's like to be loved by others, while I know the love of so many. I am also the "why not me?" for the mom who has lost baby after baby or has never been able to get pregnant, while I have two happy, healthy boys. Did I do something to deserve the good or the bad in my life? NO! But this is my life, good and bad, and this is the ONLY life I have to live.

So even while I miss Felicity and Jeremiah terribly, I can look at my life and as a whole know how blessed I am. I am going to challenge myself to have this "why not me" attitude in the coming weeks. Why am I not the one starving? Why am I not the one homeless? Why am I not the barren woman? I don't know. But I do know I can be thankful for what I have.

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Check This Out!!!

My blog friend, Diane, from Tomato Soup Cake (Check her out!) first posted this link the other day. I checked it out and was moved to tears! I never would've heard about this since we don't watch t.v., but I found myself going back to it today and watching it repeatedly - IT'S THAT GOOD!

I wanted to share it too (plus by posting it on my blog - I'll always be able to go back and watch it again and again!). Please go meet Susan Boyle. I don't know when this really happened, but I hope Susan's life is very different now. It's worth the time, just let it buffer first or turn your volume down and come back to it in 10 minutes after it's played through once. Then turn the speakers up and BE MOVED!



UPDATE: Check out this article on Susan to read more about her life! It'll make you cheer her on even more!