Caleb's Photos

Caleb had his 26 week MCA and growth scan yesterday. (They check his growth every 4 weeks.) He continues to do great! We are thrilled! He did measure smaller than 26 weeks, which ordinarily wouldn't be a concern for me considering how big my babies have been at birth (Ethan was 8.4, Elijah was 9.3, and Felicity was 9.15), but I am going to be praying that he gains weight. If he is born early, he will do better if he's not too small.

Here are some photos from yesterday's ultrasound.

Yes, that's his big toe practically in his nose!

We don't have to go back for two more weeks, but I have the feeling that as we get closer to the end, we will end up going every week again. That's just my impression of the perinatologist's m.o. Next time they will do a Bio Physical Profile and another test that I can't remember along with the MCA scan.

Thanks for all your prayers! I know I say that every time, but I am exceedingly thankful as there have been many times I know the only thing keeping me from despair was the prayers of so many saints. STAY TUNED FOR A GIVEAWAY NEXT WEEK in appreciation for your kindness!

Blessings,

UGH!

Yesterday was one of those days.

You know, the kind that leaves you questioning your actions, your role in life, your purpose.

Lately we've been dealing with a lot of defiant behavior from one of our children. It hasn't been easy to deal with and in fact, I'm left physically and emotionally exhausted, not to mention guilt-ridden, wondering what I'm doing or not doing to cause these behaviors.

This behavior is not typical.

Paul and I have talked about it extensively and last night I asked a couple of my wise friends who have children older than mine what they think.

I used to be the type of person who couldn't handle any criticism and I admit it's still difficult to hear. But I'm really thankful I sought out their counsel.

Here's what I'm learning:

• A good tree cannot bear bad fruit (Matthew 7) - this is a self-directed thought as there are many things I personally need to work on. I've known about these things, but always find myself making excuses. Pregnancy has been my biggest excuse lately especially considering I've been pregnant the last 17 of 21 months.


• My children, because they are homeschooled, are around me 24/7 for the most part and are very aware of my behaviors and relationships. Anything amiss is open fodder for their little minds and hearts. I need to make sure my relationship with Paul is on the right track, meaning I need to be fulfilling my role as wife, first and foremost.


• I need to be careful with my words and deeds. Am I walking the talk?


• I need to be considerate of the differences between myself and my children, especially since they are boys, and teach and train them accordingly.


• I need to be reading my Bible and spending more time praying for my children.

Parenting is hard, the hardest job in the world!

On a different note, tomorrow is Caleb's 26 week MCA and growth scan. Please pray for him to still be doing well and for peace of mind for me. The farther along we get, the more I find myself worrying about the uncertainty of the next few few months (or less). Not even knowing when or where he'll arrive is not easy on my type A personality.

Blessings,

Dreamin'

I had a dream last night that Caleb had been born.


All 7lbs. 14oz and two weeks early. He was tiny compared to my other babies. But oh so sweet and perfectly healthy.


In the dream I changed him a few times and nursed him a couple times and it was LOVELY!


The dream also involved moving to a older house which had double pane windows (I wish!)and little minnows with legs that crawled all around my feet like mice (eww!)


But hey, I'll take what I can get!

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I'm still trying to work on that vacation post, but Blogger is not liking me uploading pictures these days, so we'll see if it ever gets posted!


Have a great week!


Blessings,

Been Busy

I've been busy lately....

homeschooling,

cooking and baking,

wiping Elijah's nose,

getting mad at the chickens for repeatedly digging up our new landscaping,

lamenting the falling snow and lack of fall weather,

running errands and going to doctor's appointments,

praying for friends who are newly expecting babies after losing a baby,

praying for friends who are due to have babies soon, after having lost a baby,

praying for friends who are anticipating the anniversary of their babies' death,

watching movies late into the night with my hubby,

reading blogs but not commenting because I don't have time,

and going through clothes and packing away summer stuff.

Hopefully I'll come up with something witty or interesting to write about soon.


Blessings,

Caleb's 24 Week MCA Scan

Just a quick post to let you know that Caleb's scan yesterday went great! He had no sign of fluid building up in his body (hydrops), which can be a concern with HDFN (Hemolytic Disease of the Fetus or Newborn and the blood flow in his Middle Cerebral Artery was normal, far below the point where anemia would suspected.

We will continue on a two week schedule seeing as how he is doing so well. He was also head down yesterday, which is a first for these scans. They give us tons of pictures every scan, but I've been bad about posting them. I'll try to get some up soon.

We're all stuffed up here in MN. Elijah's been struggling with a cold all week. Anyone have any good ideas for teaching a three year old how to effectively blow his nose? I'm seriously considering one of those bulb syringes they use on babies, if I thought we could hold him down to do it without hurting him.

And to top it all off, we just had our first snow last night (yep, snow in Oct. in MN!) and poor kid thinks he's going to be going outside today to play in it. But it's only 26 degrees right now and he was outside all afternoon yesterday with my dad.

I'm off to spend the day winterizing our beds and stuff, while Paul is hopefully able to winterize the lawn mower, four-wheeler, tractor and chickens. I'm also hoping to do a bunch of cooking to get a head start on the week. Should be a busy day.

Thanks to you all who took the time to watch the video of Felicity's first birthday. I am very glad with how it turned out and that it brought many of you joy versus sadness. While earthly life without her is sad, eternal life with her will be beyond anything I can imagine.

Blessings,

One Year Photo Montage

Make video montages at www.OneTrueMedia.com

One Year of Missing Felicity

Thanks to those of you who remembered today was Felicity's one year Heavenly birthday. Your thoughts, cards, prayers, and flowers (Thanks Molly and family!) are a blessing to us. Like many of you have said, the anticipation of today was harder than the actual day.

I did have some very weepy days/moments last week and on Sunday when we celebrated Felicity's short life, but today was good. The boys and I went down to the cities (Minneapolis/St. Paul for those of you who don't know MN) and went out to lunch and to the Minnesota History Museum for a field trip. I knew it would be important for me to be out of the house today, especially since it's been overcast and rainy here for the past 5 days, which has impacted my mood.

On Sunday, we visited Felicity's grave after church. For those of you who don't know, we attend a small country church and Felicity is buried in the church cemetery right next to the church. My parents came up on Saturday and my aunt joined us on Sunday. They were the only ones who got to see and hold Felicity besides Paul, the boys, and me. After visiting Felicity's grave and taking some photos, we went out for lunch. I was hoping to go hiking after that, but the weather was too rainy, so we headed back to our house.

While waiting for the rain to clear, we sang "Happy Birthday" to Felicity and enjoyed some cupcakes made in her honor. Normally for birthdays around here I make cakes, so I thought cupcakes would be something different and special. There were many tears on my part during this time and it was incredibly sad to see Ethan break down too. He hasn't cried over Felicity since the day before her memorial service when we watched the photo montage our NILMDTS photographer made for us. It breaks my heart all over again to see him missing her so much. All I could do was hold him and tell him that it was okay to cry.

After waiting for the rain to clear up, we were finally able to release balloons in honor of Felicity and Jeremiah. I was stressed out because I didn't think the weather was going to clear up enough to do so, but God provided some beautiful blue sky for us at just the right time.

I haven't yet gone through all of Felicity's things, though I plan to soon. The thought of doing so doesn't bear so much pain as it did a week ago. I'm sure there will still be tears, but I'm not afraid of them.

I'm working on a montage of photos taken over the past year that have to do with Felicity. I hope to have it up in a day or two.

We miss her so much but I am continually reminded that "in His presence is fullness of joy." She is complete in every way as she worships her maker in Heaven. What a joy it will be to be there with her someday!