Friday, February 25, 2011


I am such a delinquent blogger. I blame it on Caleb and his ability to open all kitchen and bathroom cabinets. Not to mention yesterday he accidentally realized he can open the oven as well. So all my "blogging time" has been spent cleaning up his messes and trying to stop him from making more. If he wasn't so darn cute and cuddly, I'd probably be just a little bit nutty by now.

Right now I'm sitting on the couch and Caleb's standing at my feet, alternately blabbering at me happily and playing peek-a-boo with me around the laptop screen. Oh, and did I mention he's walking? He's not an expert yet, but it's so fun to watch him learn and watch the big boys get excited over it.

My baby's growing up! (insert sad face here) I know I promised myself I'd enjoy him like he was my last, but at this point, I'm already feeling the infant itch. It's the pregnant part I'm not looking forward too. And all the potential issues we could face with another baby, if he/she has the little c antigen.

There's another mini baby boom happening around me. I have to admit it's hard to see friends be pregnant and have babies easily. There's nothing easy about having a baby after losing one through stillbirth regardless of how many healthy babies you have. Because things went so smooth with Caleb and the antibody isoimmunisation issue, I wonder if it won't be much harder with the next baby. When I start to think that way, I have to remind myself who's in control. And that there's also a 50% chance of a completely "normal" pregnancy if the next baby does not have the antigen.

In the meantime, I'm trying to soak in every precious baby moment with Caleb. He is still a baby. He's still nursing and dependent on me for so much. I love being his mommy.

Sunday, February 6, 2011

Running Late

Sunday mornings tend to get a little crazy around here. This last year our church went to one service which starts at 9am. That may not seem early to some of you, but for us, it is. And our children don't even sleep in! But 2 adults showering, Paul having to shave, breakfast, nursing the baby, hair and makeup for me (which only takes about 30 minutes and includes me blow-drying my very thick hair), and getting dressed takes enough time that we're usually arriving at church without a minute to spare.

I HATE walking into church late. It doesn't bother me when others walk in late though. Anyhoo, this morning at the last minute, I ended up staying home with Caleb. We couldn't find his shoes despite searching every possible place and it was already so late. I was bummed. After Paul and the boys left, I sat on the couch nursing Caleb and feeling sorry for myself. Normally, I allow my feelings of self-pity to just take over. But this morning, I said no! I prayed and asked God to change my perspective and attitude.

I snuggled Caleb and he fell asleep. Normally he doesn't fall asleep on Sundays until after we've arrived home (around 11:30). He's getting more teeth at the moment though.

When these little things happen, I often struggle with a poor-me attitude. Just ask my husband. After I get over myself, I am so ashamed and wonder how I could ever feel that way. I have SO MUCH! And why? I am no better than anyone else and yet, me and my family have been so richly blessed. It saddens me to think of how people suffer around the world. And here I am, feeling blue over a little inconvenience.

So I going to be memorizing this verse this week. It's one I already know, but I need to know it well enough to rattle it off whenever I start feeling sorry for myself.

(For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds;) Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ; II Corinthians 10:4-5

And guess what? I found Caleb's shoes right after Paul and the boys left - they were pushed down into the couch cushion. I need to remember that the next time I can't find them.