Thursday, May 21, 2009

A Plethora of Things

Okay, pizza's in the oven and I've got approximately 25 minutes to pound out a post. I'd really rather be reading my favorite blogs or on Facebook, but I feel like I need to catch up on here. There are so many thoughts and feelings swirling through my brain lately, it's been hard to think about a topic for a post, so I've just avoiding writing one. I used to thrive on multi-tasking, in fact I could rarely do just one thing at a time. Now I feel like if I'm going to get anything done, I need to focus on one thing at a time. It's been a weird transition.

Lately I've felt like I've been doing a pretty good learning to live with grief. It's hasn't caught me unawares lately, but I also haven't been able to bid it adieu. So, I've just accepted its presence and it seems like we're starting to be tolerable roommates. It's like a quote I heard, "You can go to Griefville, just don't pack an overnight bag."

We've had our share of allergies (Ethan) and sleep issues (Elijah) around here lately. Can anyone suggest any good remedies for dark circles under one's eyes? Plus we're trying to wrap-up our homeschool year. We have about 12 days left. I always plan on doing some stuff during the summer, but not much. The garden's mostly planted. Now it's time to start weeding - ugh! We've been having bizarre weather lately. Yesterday is was 96 degrees, but it's only 66 today. Give me 66 degree weather year round and I'd be very happy. With the weather at least.

The chickens are busy pooping everywhere, but are also laying nicely. I hear our rooster, Peter Drumstick, crowing quite regularly. Like many things, I'm learning to ignore it. A couple weeks ago we had a visitor, a groundhog in our "garage under the deck." But that's a post for another day. I know I promised a post about septic tanks, but the chicken poo has squashed my enthusiasm for the subject. It'll happen eventually.

And there's the timer for the pizza. I hope my homemade whole wheat crust is edible.


Persuaded said...

i have been having the same rather disturbing lessening capacity for multi-tasking. i think for me it is simply part of the reality of aging. i know i have to allow for so much more time to get anything done than i used to. oh well... life is a constant transition i think.

how did your pizza crust turn out?

Sara said...

It was so good hearing from you again on the blog. I missed you:) I know what you mean, sometimes I just know it will take me awhile if I sit down to post, and I know at that moment I don't have that time:) Wow, I can't believe a 96 degree day, unreal. I know living in Wisconsin those were a rarity. I found it interesting how you said you are finding that you are learning to live with grief... like a roommate. It is so strange somedays I feel that exact same way, like I think I will become comfortable with the new person I am now since losing Samuel and that it feels OK and then other days the grief is just kind of suffocating, and I think how will I live another day feeling this way... but the Lord is faithful to lift that burden in His timing.

How did the pizza turn out. You had me laughing at the chicken poop. I will be praying for the boys to get through the allegies and sleep situation:) I am Praying for you Rachel.

Jennifer Ross said...

I really like the term, "tolerable roomates." That's what it ends up being.

I'm glad that school is wrapping up, I am so tired of go back and forth to the school. I look foward to some rest this summer, watching the boys enjoy everything summer brings. Hope you and your family are doing well.

Heidi said...

My aunt left a message on one of my posts about integrating not overcoming being the long term goal.

How was the pizza crust!

Tonya said...

Hey Rachel,

I hope you'll get this since I'm commenting on an older post. THANK YOU SO MUCH for your comments on my blog, especially the last two.

First of all, I whole-heartedly agree that I'd go through my whole pregnancy with Grady again just to feel him alive inside of me and to hold and kiss him again. There's a Rascal Flatts song called "Here" that reminds me so much of this. It is really the chorus that says it all. I won't even try to remember it verbatim 'cuz I know I'll mess it up but it talks about walking through pain and being thankful for just to be with "you" again.

Also, thank you SO MUCH for recommending that book. My husband loves to read my comments. After he read your comment, he said there was a book he was going to go get that you recommended. WOULD YOU BELIEVE I ALREADY HAD THE BOOK FROM THE SUPPORT GROUP I GO TO?!?!?!? IS THAT THE LORD OR WHAT?!?!? I've had it for 2 months on the dining room table, waiting to read it, thinking I really wasn't the one who needed it.......thank you!!!

I'm so glad you had such a great time at Faith's Lodge. It sounds like a great healing time for you and your husband. My husband is a WONDERFUL man of God and integrity. He's just not a talker and has never been a great communicator - he'll be the first to tell you that, too! He told me the night Grady was born, "Just because I don't cry and show my feelings like you do doesn't mean that I don't care". That was a great thing for him to say, but I mentioned one night recently, as I was cooking dinner, how much I missed Grady and wished he was here, and he didn't say anything. I asked him if he heard me and he said yes. That cut like a knife. I felt like I was sailing in a ship all alone with no paddles or anything. I think that was my breaking point because I was doing my BEST not to just lose it over the salad I was making. The lump in my throat and heaviness in my chest was almost more than I could bare. All of that to say, THANK YOU!!

Do you have an email you'd be willing to share? I would love to email you and communicate more than just through comments on our blogs :-)

Take care. God bless you and thank you SO MUCH for your friendship! I SO WISH I could meet you in person!!!!