You know, the kind that leaves you questioning your actions, your role in life, your purpose.
Lately we've been dealing with a lot of defiant behavior from one of our children. It hasn't been easy to deal with and in fact, I'm left physically and emotionally exhausted, not to mention guilt-ridden, wondering what I'm doing or not doing to cause these behaviors.
This behavior is not typical.
Paul and I have talked about it extensively and last night I asked a couple of my wise friends who have children older than mine what they think.
I used to be the type of person who couldn't handle any criticism and I admit it's still difficult to hear. But I'm really thankful I sought out their counsel.
Here's what I'm learning:
- A good tree cannot bear bad fruit (Matthew 7) - this is a self-directed thought as there are many things I personally need to work on. I've known about these things, but always find myself making excuses. Pregnancy has been my biggest excuse lately especially considering I've been pregnant the last 17 of 21 months.
- My children, because they are homeschooled, are around me 24/7 for the most part and are very aware of my behaviors and relationships. Anything amiss is open fodder for their little minds and hearts. I need to make sure my relationship with Paul is on the right track, meaning I need to be fulfilling my role as wife, first and foremost.
- I need to be careful with my words and deeds. Am I walking the talk?
- I need to be considerate of the differences between myself and my children, especially since they are boys, and teach and train them accordingly.
- I need to be reading my Bible and spending more time praying for my children.
Parenting is hard, the hardest job in the world!
On a different note, tomorrow is Caleb's 26 week MCA and growth scan. Please pray for him to still be doing well and for peace of mind for me. The farther along we get, the more I find myself worrying about the uncertainty of the next few few months (or less). Not even knowing when or where he'll arrive is not easy on my type A personality.
Blessings,
3 comments:
You are so wise to seek out advice.. and even moreso to hear it with an open heart. And then to act on it? Better still! I so completely know what you mean about our own behaviors and attitudes as mothers showing themselves in our children- I had noticed a bit of a sour mouth and grumbling spirit among my own children a while back, and I realized that I had been allowing those own same behaviors and attitudes in myself. I had been discouraged about some things and had let that discouragement color my spirit. *blush* Our children really are mirrors in which we can see ourselves... of course they still are little sinners in their own right, with their own free will... so we can't take all the "credit" for their naughtiness;)
Did you know that I just sat down at the computer after (amidst) probably the worst day ever (after a long stretch of bad days) with one of my kids?
Maybe you didn't, but God certainly did.
I'm coming up tomorrow to drop A off at my mom's (prearranged) and I will definitely be doing some thinking and praying on these matters and working on myself in the days while he is gone.
I will pray we can both find some insight.
(By the way- I love your new blog background!)
Rachel,
There are so many challenges that fill our days. I am so glad you were able to seek some wise counsel. I love your gentle, humble heart. What a good mommy you are. I will be praying for you friend. May God give you the stamina and strength to mother those precious boys each day that are with you. I am amazed that you are already 26 weeks along Rachel, praise God. i will be praying you through the next months... so excited for you.
SAra
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