I had a regular prenatal visit with Dr. B on Monday (Yay - for hearing baby #5's heartbeat again!) and we were talking about my upcoming amniocentesis. She asked if we were going to find out the baby's gender. I was kind of dumbfounded at first. I know they use amnios for a ton of diagnostic stuff, but I had completely forgotten that they would be able to definitively find out baby's gender with it as well.
I told her "Yes!"
Finding out this baby's gender is something that Paul and I have talked about long before this baby was even conceived. When I was pregnant with Ethan and going through the start of my divorce, I decided to find out what I was having because at that point I needed as much stability in my life as possible. But with both Elijah and Felicity we chose to wait to have a delivery surprise.
I was quite content with Elijah to be surprised (and I was!), but with Felicity, I was kind of hoping we'd find out before she was born. Paul was pretty adamant about not finding out. He relished his role in Elijah's birth of being the one to announce, "It's a boy!" I knew he was looking forward to that with Felicity's birth too. Unfortunately due to the circumstances of her birth he didn't have the opportunity to do so.
Fairly soon after Felicity died I told Paul it was something we needed to talk about. I laid out my feelings on the subject. I felt it would be very important for us and especially for our boys to bond with this baby by name while still in the womb. With Felicity, it felt like we met her and said goodbye to her in the same day, even though I carried her for 9+ months. The next time I wanted us to cherish the baby as a specific person for as long as possible, even if we knew something was wrong and the baby wouldn't live.
So at my urging, Paul has agreed to find out this baby's gender. I know he's excited to know even if he won't get to make an announcement at baby's birth. We're working on names now. I want names that capture how much we want this baby and how much we're trusting God no matter what happens. I want this baby to have a name that is a legacy to him or her.
With my amnio just 9 days away and results (according to Dr. B) taking a week or so, we should be able to name this baby soon! Ethan is thrilled that we'll be able to find out. It's something very concrete for him especially since we've tried to be very honest with the boys about not knowing if this baby will live with us or live in Heaven. I just can't tell him that everything will be alright when I don't know for sure. Hopefully he sees us trusting in God and can do so also.
How about you all? Did you find out baby's gender or wait and why?
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