Yes, a time machine, something even my engineer husband can't build for me. You see, I want to jump a year into the future and see what our lives are like. I feel so stuck right now it seems and I just can't imagine how life is going to be.
Thankfully I read an encouraging post this a.m. from http://joyelizabethjones.blogspot.com/ and realize that it doesn't matter. I need to live for NOW, enjoy my boys TODAY, love my husband in THIS MOMENT. We are always going to be changed because of Felicity not being with us, but that's okay. Much like I'm not the same person since my first husband divorced me, I'm not the same person I was when Felicity was alive and well in my womb. And you know what, I don't want to be that person any more! I want to feel this sadness as hard as it is. And I want to eventually be stronger and more compassionate because of it. God will restore us, not to what we were, but to something even better, if we let Him have His way in our lives. Keep praying!