Thankful

Paul is reading to the boys right now, so I thought I write this post now rather than waiting for tomorrow as I may find myself unable to do so then. Tomorrow marks 6 weeks since Felicity's birth/death. *sad sigh* Every week it seems my body and mind gear up for Monday mornings, replaying in my mind what happened that morning.

I've found myself so interested in all matters relating to stillbirths and especially to cord accidents. I read today that death from a cord accident usually occurs while mom is sleeping as sleep also affects baby's oxygen intake level. In my ignorance, I thought stillbirths no longer happened, when in reality there are approximately 26,000 stillbirths a year in the United States. A stillbirth according to Wikipedia is, "the birth of a fetus which has died in the uterus or during labor or delivery any time after the 24th week of pregnancy." Other definitions use the term stillbirth for any baby 20 weeks or more gestation. My heart aches for all the women I have "met" in the past 6 weeks who have also experienced a stillbirth. Their pain is like mine and so we have become kindred spirits in our grief.

My mom, in her wisdom, told me I should make a list of all the things I am thankful for having to do with Felicity's life, so that when I'm feeling down I can think of those things. So here goes:

I'm thankful for. . .

• beautiful, professional photographs of my daughter and a video of those photographs put to music.
• so many remembrances of Felicity throughout our home.
• the people at the hospital who treated her so lovingly despite her spirit being gone from her body.
• family and friends who have surrounded us with love, prayers, meals, and gifts.
• my own physical health after having a baby.
• a loving husband, who while grieving himself, comforts me with his presence and loving touch.
• Ethan and Elijah, who remind me every moment that life must go on.
• the impact Felicity has had on many people already.
• Jesus Christ, whose shed blood on the cross, ensures our happy reunion with Felicity someday because we believe in Him.
• hope for the future!

"To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of JOY for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that he might be glorified." Isaiah 61:3