Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Being Gently Led

My name means "little lamb" and the verse that goes along with that is Isaiah 40:11

"He shall feed his flock like a shepherd; he shall gather the lambs with his arm, and carry them in his bosom, and shall gently lead those that are with young."

As a child I wondered why this verse went with my name. Other than it being about lambs, it didn't really mean much to me. Now that I've live 30+ years of life, I cherish this verse. This verse became especially meaningful to me when my first husband decided he "wasn't happy" and didn't want to be married anymore. I was three months pregnant at the time after trying for over a year to get pregnant. And yet, God gently led me. He cared for me and provided for me, and my relationship with him was renewed in a powerful way.

I also find great peace and comfort knowing Felicity has been gathered into His arms and carried in His bosom. Despite my great desire to carry her in my arms, she is safely in the arms of the one who created her and knit her together in my womb; the ONE who knew the exact number of her days.

And now I find great comfort in this verse, because He again is "gently leading those that are with young." On Wednesday, we found out that I'm pregnant! Thank you Lord for this new life! We are thrilled and happy! We are also sad, knowing the frailty of life and that there on no guarantees that this baby will be healthy and whole. We trust God in all things. I know I will have to give Him my concerns and worries on a daily basis as we go through this pregnancy.

We are assuming this baby will be due right around Felicity's first birthday in heaven, so that brings another element of sadness into this bright picture. I feel like I'm experiencing a bizarre case of deja vu as we found out Felicity was on the way almost exactly a year ago. I go to the doctor on Monday and will then be scheduled for an ultrasound to date the pregnancy. (I never got my period back since Felicity's death and as Elijah was still nursing.)

You're probably wondering why I'm willing to share this pregnancy so soon with so many. Well, my greatest hope is that you will lift us up in prayer as we begin this journey after loss, especially in these next few weeks. I don't think I even need to say what we need prayer for, please pray as the spirit leads. I have felt so blessed during this grief journey by all your prayers and kind words. The Spirit of God is working through you!

16 comments:

Sharleen said...

Rachel,

I just sent you an email as well. I truly am happy for you and your family with the news of this new little life. I pray that God gives you peace and calms those anxieties and fears with this pregnancy. God is in control, find rest in that.

my3sons said...

Congrats to you and your family. I have been following your blog for a while. I will pray that God blesses this baby and that all goes well with the pregnancy and delivery. Thanks for sharing your news! Katie

Megan said...

Rachel that is some great news! I suspect the coming months will test your trust and dependance on God in new ways, even from walking through mourning Felicity. He is there, in control, and wants to bring you blessing. Believe that this little one is part of that. You will be lifted in pryer on my end! Congratulations! ~Megan

Shannon said...

Congrats Schwendingers!!! I love you all so very much!

The Three 22nds said...

Congratulations, Rachel! We will be praying for you all!

April Z said...

Rachel,

I am thrilled for you! I'll definitely be praying that everything goes smoothly and that God brings a beautiful, healthy baby into your family.

Love,
April

Kara said...

Congratulations, Rachel- what happy news! You'll be in my prayers!

Heather of the EO said...

Oh what good news. Prayers for peace. I'm sure this is so scary and yet so good at the same time. That can be really confusing, I'm sure. I'll keep praying for that peace.

Heather

Sara said...

Rachel,
Yeahhhhh! I am so happy for you! No I don't have the same good news though we are working on that too:) We are opening doors for the Lord and we will see what He does. I will post soon about it. But for now, I just have to tell you I am rejoicing with you over this new little precious gift from God. I will be praying for you, as you continue to grieve your loss as the days pass, and yet celebrate this new life. Praise God, that is great news. Praying for peace in your heart as you move forward in this pregnancy.
Sara

joolee said...

What everyone else said plus a couple of WOOTS! :) love ya!

Anonymous said...

Congratulations to you all! We continue to pray for you everyday!!Love, Amanda

Sabrina said...

Thank you for sharing. I will be praying for you. God's grace and peace throughout this pregnancy.

sarah said...

We just found your blog, and I appreciate the things you are saying.

I am sad about the loss of your precious child. May God continue to comfort you now and through-out your life. Yes, you will see her again, even as King David comforted himself at the thought.

I will pray for you and the little one you carry now. May God give you the peace that passes all understanding and joy at the sweet kindness of our Saviour to bless you again with another child.

Be strong and courageous, for the Lord is with you.

Rachel said...

May God continue to lead you into His presence and may you find peace and comfort there. I am so happy for you and my prayers go out to you and the new little life that HE has created!

Walters Inc said...

Rachel, thank you for visiting my blog :) I will be praying for you very much in the coming months. I feel my eyes filling with tears as I remember those emotions.(March 3rd is the anniversary of my son's death)
We can remember together our children in God's loving arms and through the tears rejoice. You have chosen a wonderful way to bear your grief... writing is a special way to put out your thoughts! I will pray for this new child and that your time will be smooth!
Much love!

Anonymous said...

Congratulations on your good news! I read your memorial for Felicity on the internet, and our thoughts and prayers go out to you. We also grieve the loss of our Maila Grace, stillborn on 9/13/2008 at 27 weeks gestation.
Praying that all will go well with your pregnancy.
May God bless you and your family
Kris Matson krismat@northstate.net