Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Ribbons and Bows

Last week when I was at Walmart and walked through the kids section (I was looking for a new winter coat for Ethan), I saw the little baby Christmas dresses, I almost lost it. I rushed out of the kids area breathing hard and forcing the tears not to fall.

Today while at Walmart, we again passed the baby girl dresses. I felt like I had the wind knocked out of me, but I stopped the cart and looked at them. I touched a couple of them and tried not to cry. I didn't allow myself to mentally pick out the one that would've looked best on Felicity. Maybe next time.

I miss my daughter and what could have been!


Billi said...

I so know your pain, and am proud to hear you are allowing yourself to explore these emotions step by step. I still skirt past the boys section, thankful God granted me with three of the opposite sex, but I will soon have to allow Gods healing to take place because my sister-in-law is due in January with a boy. I don’t know when, but one day you will be amazed at how strong you are. I admire your strength and I love you. (((HUGS)))

Anonymous said...

You don't know me but I completely know how you feel. I lost my daughter in September (stillborn) and still have a hard time going out shopping near the baby section. Tears come to my eyes and it is hard to breathe... Know you are not alone in your feelings. I am so sorry about the loss of your daughter.

joolee said...

I'm so sorry Rachel. This morning on facebook I saw a picture you had commented on and I ended up looking thru many of the stillbirth group's photos. I've felt a heavy sadness ever since. I realize this sadness doesn't even begin to come close to what you are feeling.

I still have a pile of girly clothes sitting around that was intended for Felicity. (I just knew you were having a girl) Still praying.........

Anonymous said...

Rachel, I am so sorry for all you are going through. I too feel very sad for you each time I see a baby girl or girl clothes. Know that we are praying for you everyday! The kids pray for Paul & Rachel too. We love you!

Anonymous said...

I love you and the boys. Yes, that includes Paul (Ha Ha). Please know I understand your loss. And, I pray for all of you always. Ribbons and Bows on a tree or a chair, I use them in many discreet ways. You'll find many ribbons around our home. The beauty of the ribbon is the gentleness that it gives. The bow always smiles.

We will be there, be it Christmas Eve or day.

With love,
Rich and Tracy