Sunday, December 7, 2008

Two Months

Yesterday we went to visit Felicity's grave to remember her on her two month angelversary. (I haven't quite figured out a way to describe her birth/death date. I don't quite care for the term "angelversary" as I don't believe Felicity is an angel, but I like that it's one word and I think most people would understand what you mean if you use it. Unfortunately, it also seems misleading.)

We had made an ice candle in anticipation of putting it on Felicity's grave on this day. I think it turned out very nice. Since we don't have a headstone and won't until spring, we put some fake flowers in the ground awhile back and some stones in the shape of a cross.

The cemetery is quite beautiful and is adjacent to our church. It's out in the country, so just picture a beautiful country cemetery and that's where Felicity's body is buried. It was incredibly cold and had just snowed a bit the night before, so everything had a thin blanket of white, which was pretty.

While we were there, it got quite dark. The stars were coming out. We all looked up into the sky and yelled in unison, "WE LOVE YOU FELICITY!" And then I cried. . .a lot! The kind of crying I do now is so different from any other crying I've done in my life and it's pretty impossible to describe, but if you're a grieving mom, you know what I'm talking about. It takes a lot out of me, but after I've cried like that, I feel better, as if my tears help me feel healed. I hope Felicity feels my tears as hugs in heaven.


Heidi said...

I love the ice candle! It looks just amazing, especially with the cross and flowers. I don't like the term angelversery just sounds strange and not really what I believe either. I FINALLY feel comfortable enough that I just say her birthday or "Kenna would be ___ today". But I mostly just avoided having to come up with a name for the first 6 months or so! (Which was basically ok since I didn't really leave my house for that long!)

Anonymous said...

Her grave looks beautiful Rachel!! Love you guys!


Bethany said...

The ice candle adds a beautiful light of hope to her grave, Rachel. I hope you are doing all right during this difficult holiday season. Is there any way you could share your email address with me, so that I can send you a more personal message?