It's in the air. You can feel it, literally I think, if you were to step into our home. I'm crabby and tired and overwhelmed physically, mentally, and emotionally. Paul's struggling to try to survive in a house where everything is slacking and he has to remind me he's wearing his last pair of clean boxers. The boys just continue to bounce off the walls, with all the unstructured free time and videos. I have no energy to do anything it seems.
This morning I kept having flashbacks to this point in my pregnancy with Felicity. I was anticipating a baby to arrive at anytime, considering that both boys were "early." I was crabby then too. It's hard not to be when you're tired all the time, your clothes barely fit, and you just want to be able to breathe again. Needless to say, thinking back to those days wasn't easy and did not improve my already emotional mood.
I told myself (and continue to do so) that I can overcome these negative feelings. I seem to pray about it constantly and remind myself that hormones play a big part of it. And I tell myself that I've never been here before. I've never been this close to having my baby in my arms after having just 15 months ago buried my last baby. And I'll be honest, I'm not quite sure how to do this, other than very ungracefully.
Add to all these emotional issues, the physical aspects of the way I've been feeling the past week. I felt better on Thursday and Friday, but Saturday and today, I've had a horrid headache. They checked my blood pressure again on Friday at Caleb's MCA scan and it's gone up a bit more, so it'll be interesting to see where it's at when I go to my regular doc tomorrow. I've never had preeclampsia issues with my other babies, but we've entered many new territories during this pregnancy.
I had hoped to do some "fun" posts here, but honestly don't have it in me these past few days. Maybe things will perk up this week. I appreciate all your prayers!
The Big Boo Cast, Episode 90
2 hours ago